If you were looking for an April Fool’s Day story in this week’s paper, sorry to disappoint. While it’s a cherished tradition at some news outlets, I don’t do April Fools.
Here’s why.
Back in 2002, when I was city editor at the Winnipeg Sun, I wrote a story that appeared on page 2 under the byline Jack Hook. It was the one and only time I used that byline.
The story was about how Manitoba’s NDP government had resolved to change the iconic Golden Boy statue on top of the Legislature to the “Golden Person.” It was written like a real news story, with outtakes from “leaked cabinet meeting notes,” and all that jazz. And of course it ended with the disclaimer: April Fools!
It was clever because the statue had been taken down for re-gilding and so the gag was almost plausible.
My original idea was to have the NDP (or “the Dippers,” as we always called them) change the Golden Boy to the Golden Girl, but editor-in-chief Serge Gosselin thought Golden Person was more in keeping with the NDP’s form of political correctness. I didn’t quite agree, because I figured then-premier Gary Doer would rather see a girl up there than a “person.” So I made that part of the story, with Doer arguing for the Golden Girl but his fellow travellers overwhelmingly supporting the genderless approach. Serge was definitely forward thinking.
The story ran on April 1 and a lot of readers found it funny, though there were quite a few confused callers, mostly older, who thought it was for real and then got upset when they learned that it wasn’t. Some people just don’t like to be fooled when they open a newspaper. The government must have taken some flak as well; I know Gary wasn’t too thrilled about it and even asked one time, “Who is this Jack Hook?”
I certainly wasn’t going to tell him. Ultimately we got away with it, and it passed.
Or so I thought.
In October that year, Queen Elizabeth II and the Duke of Edinburgh visited Winnipeg as part of the Golden Jubilee celebrations, with the British media in tow. One of the major Brit newspapers did a story about sleepy Winnipeg where the most exciting thing that had happened in recent memory was the government’s attempt to – yes, yes, yes – change the Golden Boy statue to the Golden Person.
A reporter had done some digging on the Internet, but obviously hadn’t read to the end of the story.
It was humiliating for the city and I felt foolish.
That’s why I don’t April Fools. Because I don’t want to be one.
