A story this week about the Gracie Bullyproof program brings to light a major difference of opinion on the subject of handling bullies.
Scott Ewen, the head instructor at Coast Martial Arts in Gibsons, admits that some school principals in the district are not “too stoked” about one element of the program: directing kids to tackle their bully if talking to them and telling on them doesn’t work.
Stressing that tackling should involve minimal force, Ewen told reporter Jacob Roberts: “Nine times out of 10, with our kids that have had to tackle, the bully ends up crying and running to the principal and saying that this student fought them or hurt them.”
Superintendent of schools Patrick Bocking said the district could never support that approach, because tackling is “obviously an aggressive act and that’s not how we would work with students to deal with their conflicts.” Instead, Bocking said, the district believes in “caring support” for bullies, who “are in a fragile place themselves,” and looks to programs like Restorative Justice to deal with the problem.
Ewen emphasizes that it’s the parents – not school officials – who are the child’s “ultimate backup” when it comes to how the child deals with bullies.
Any parent whose child has been on the receiving end of constant bullying knows how damaging – and sometimes seriously damaging – it can be to the child’s emotional health. Being bullied, especially in front of his or her peers, can truly devastate a child’s sense of pride and belonging. From that perspective, “caring support” for the bully seems misplaced, at least in the short term. And with statistics suggesting that fewer than 15 per cent of children report acts of bullying, the school system’s intervention model comes with significant shortcomings.
It’s no surprise, then, that some parents would rather see their kids trained to take on bullies, even if it means butting heads with a school system that allows no acts of aggression under any circumstances. Physically tackling a bully will lead to consequences – but for parents who bullyproof their kids, those consequences are clearly considered less severe than the potential harm caused by repeated bullying.
While we fully understand the school district’s position, we have to agree with Scott Ewen that a child’s “ultimate backup” belongs with the parents.
