Editor:
Re: “Dealing with bullies: diplomacy or martial tactics?” (Coast Reporter, Jan. 15.)
As a former teacher and school administrator in a First Nation community in northern B.C., I experienced and witnessed bullying on all levels by students and adults in varying circumstances.
If bullying situations are not dealt with, they often become a threat to the victim and in some cases to an entire community. If a bully goes unchecked in a family, the spirit and harmony of that family is affected. If a bully is ignored within a school environment, the morale of that school deteriorates.
A bully intimidates, belittles and mimics aspects of their own troubled life. This behaviour becomes a vicious cycle that repeats itself over and over again and what happens in many cases is that the abused becomes the abuser. All trust is broken, communicative discourse is shattered and those affected are left in a state of angst and trauma. Adults who witness these encounters while in the company of children, and do nothing to contribute to changing these behaviours, are part of the problem.
Rather than simply reacting to a situation when a desperate call for healing is heard, to act and support and help initiate a process for change in this community, however diversified it may be, is a very positive approach. With the Gracie Bullyproof system, Scott Ewen, head instructor at Coast Martial Arts in Gibsons, is responding to the needs of this community. Restorative circles of healing practised with a qualified mediator can also be effective, especially when tension and anger have replaced the calm and harmonious atmosphere at home.
Each situation is complex and each child is unique. Making room for our differences is part of raising our children. Embracing a connectedness to those in the community who want to offer their skills and talents to those who need it the most will help all of us understand what bullying really is. If we ignore this, we will create more suffering.
Judith Newbergher-Renaud, Gibsons
