I'm having a hard time coming to grips with the latest victims' awareness campaign. And, of course, I mean the newly proclaimed World Elder Abuse Awareness Day we'll be asked to acknowledge on June 15.
On the one hand, I find it despicable that such a day is even deemed necessary - that it takes socially conscious folks wearing purple handing out literature about seniors' abuse in the local mall to make people aware that this is happening in our society.
It seems so sad that instead of family members or caregivers going to bat for their elderly parents, relatives and patients, the low lifes are actually doing exactly the opposite.
Many of you may have read the same news item I did recently where a man had installed a nanny camera in his mother's room in a long-term care facility in the United States only to observe his mother being demeaned and abused in the most disgusting ways. If you didn't read it, suffice to say the words eating and feces appeared in the same sentence - an ugly example of man's inhumanity to man in the most graphic of ways.
The world has changed in the last few generations. In our area of the world, it's no longer the custom to keep granny and grandpa in the family home to live out their days in relative peace and comfort. In some cases, families live great distances apart or finances dictate that living together just isn't feasible. What do families do in cases like that?
My belief is that just as it takes a village to raise a child, it takes one to value a senior. Nowhere is the idea that we're our brother's (or sister's) keeper more necessary than for those of our society who are too frail or afraid to manage on their own. It shouldn't take well-meaning bullet points in a newspaper article to make us aware that something is amiss when the elderly woman down the street shows up constantly bruised. Likewise, a sudden large withdrawal from the bank by a caretaker or relative should set off alarm bells all over the place.
And I guess, if I'm honest, the other problem I have with this new day of awareness is I'm concerned it adds to the idea already prevalent in our society that all seniors are in need of protection, that somehow several birthdays and grey hair mean people are no long able to care for themselves. I worry that we're making victims out of people who are more than capable of looking after themselves, but won't as long as there's doubt in their minds that they need to.
Over and over I hear from friends who are being subtly or not so subtly "encouraged" to plan for their golden years. Suddenly it's the son or daughter who has become the parent, and in the classic role reversal, Charlie and Chelsea are planning mom's and dad's future.
Don't get me wrong. When a parent is exhibiting signs of dementia or ill health, I think it behooves their offspring to take action. And yes, I realize it's not always popular with the very person who needs the help. But there is a fine line.
Ultimately, I would encourage anyone dealing with a senior to remember that the person is an adult. Treat them with dignity and apply the Golden Rule. And until the glorious day comes when our society no longer needs elder abuse education, wear purple and practise compassion.
