I turned 28 this year, which is not as terrifying as turning 30 and not as exciting as turning 10.
Five years ago, when I turned 23, I was devastated at how old I was. I woke up thinking I was 21 for some reason and when I put it together that 21 had been two years ago, all I could do was look at myself in the mirror and say out loud, “[expletive deleted] you.”
Five years ago though, I was halfway through my degree and surrounded by students who had left high school and gone straight into post-secondary. The majority were a couple years younger than me, and at the time it felt like I was late out of the gate for life.
Turning 28 feels a little weird when I think about the cultural icons – born years before me – who died at 27. Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin – people who came from my parents’ generation, but whom I am now technically older than. Kurt Cobain and Amy Winehouse are even weirder to think about because they died during my lifetime, and – Cobain especially – had a strong influence on my early years.
I’m not really a die-hard Nirvana fan, but when I was in high school their Unplugged in New York album introduced me to an older, more cynical view of life. Cobain was someone all the boys around my age aspired to be like, even though we knew deep down that none of us could come close to his level of jaded coolness.
Of course, Cobain’s jaded coolness and cynical worldview no doubt contributed to his suicide in 1994, so it’s probably a good thing that none of us quite reached his level. But to whom do you look when you outlive your heroes?
It’s strange that 28 can feel not that old when 23 felt ancient, but it’s not just about the number. It’s the preconception of where you think you’re supposed to be in your life at your current age. I felt old at 23 because most of my fellow students would have graduated by the time they got to my age; meanwhile, I was barely past halfway in my schooling.
However, I graduated over two years ago. I finished school and got the job I was going to school for – which many of my fellow students have not done – and yes, I live in a community where most of the people I encounter are significantly older than 28. That makes me feel young.
Well, young-ish.
