It is someone else's teenage boy who watches porn on his smart phone. And it is someone else's daughter who sends provocative photos of her semi-naked self to boys. At least, that's what parents think.
Fact is, most kids do it.
You can't blame them - every day they receive the message that it's cool to dress and act sexually, even when they have yet to approach teenhood. That's the theme of a new documentary, Sext up KIDS, to air on CBC TV's Doc Zone on Feb. 23 at 9 p.m.
You might want to tune in because students from Chatelech Secondary School in Sechelt will talk openly about their own social pressures in a sexualized culture.
"There's an elephant in the room," said Chatelech teacher Paddy McCallum, "that we're not talking about in the schools. It's pornography."
McCallum appears in the documentary along with some of the articulate young people in his acting, video production or literature classes. He goes on to describe the amount and access to porn that can be available to boys as young as six and seven years old.
But it's not all about boys.
"I had a remarkably frank conversation with the Chatelech girls," said documentary director and writer Maureen Palmer.
The powder keg of what Palmer calls porn culture has exploded in their lives. She points to tots in bikinis strutting in beauty pageants, padded bras for nine year olds and the sexy stage acts of idolized pop stars like Miley Cyrus and Jenna Rose, who is only 12 years old.
Just a girl and her phone can turn texting into sexting. One young woman describes the emotional fallout after sexting a picture of herself to a boy in Grade 8 who thought it would be funny to send the picture to 10 of his friends.
"My heart just dropped," she said. "How many people saw me like that?"
Palmer applauds the Chat students who have spoken out, calling them brave and strong. She is confident that they will grow from the experience.
The film-maker backs up her documentary with statistics: by the time boys turn 18, about 80 per cent have watched on-line porn. Recent research has shown that boys don't necessarily like what they're doing, and, just like girls, they hold out hope for a romantic, happily-ever-after ending despite the societal pressures that are constant.
What can parents and teachers do?
"It's important to me that students inquire deeply into the issues that confront them in our world," McCallum said. "In order to remain safe and make healthy choices, we need to keep the dialogue open."
He encourages lots of discussion and expression in his classes. The documentary encourages parents to do the same.
McCallum's background includes being an award-winning professional film-maker for the B.C. Ministry of Education - experience that Palmer found struck just the right balance for dealing with volatile content.His students get the last word in this documentary, and their words are hopeful for the future of teens everywhere. "Take back your beauty," says one young woman. "Stand up for what you believe in," declares a young man.
It appears that, in the words of film-maker Palmer, "In Sechelt, the kids are all right."
Sext up KIDS is produced by Rick LeGuerrier and Timothy M. Hogan of Dream Street Pictures, directed and written by Maureen Palmer (Leaving Bountiful and How to Divorce & Not Wreck the Kids). It airs on CBC's Doc Zone on Thursday, Feb. 23, at 9 p.m. and again on CBC News Network at a later date.
