Terry Barker's latest book, Last Chance This Life: A Hundred Letters, reveals a profoundly caring and thoughtful side of Barker that his public rarely sees. "I feel as if I'm running naked through a room full of strangers," the author said. If you have chatted with the gregarious Barker at the Sechelt Farmers' Market or at craft shows, you will understand that he is better known for his trilogy of sketches about the Sunshine Coast and a coffee table book of photos and poems inspired by his walks in Sechelt's Snickett Park. He never fails to promote his books enthusiastically. It's not quite the same with this one.
"When people pick up this book, I say 'it might not be for you' and I ask them to read the cover. Some of them put it down," Barker said. That's too bad, since it is a tremendously useful read for anyone dealing with family dynamics.
The self-published Last Chance is a series of letters penned by Barker to his son, called Will in the book, an addict living in the Downtown Eastside of Vancouver who "took Lady Crack for his wife," as Barker writes in one of the opening poems.
Will, now 55, has tried rehab several times and set himself up in his own apartment to start life again, only to be seduced back to the mean streets in an escalating battle with crack and heroin. His lungs are so fragile from his habit that his doctors have given him only five years to live.
Barker's letters cover all sorts of topics, from Hindu deities to Hollywood movies, with a generous sprinkling of bawdy jokes and verse, in an effort to make his son laugh and keep a rapport. The poetry, some doggerel, some witty, is mostly original. Slowly, over 14 months of writing to his son almost every day (the 100 letters have been selected and edited for this volume), a picture builds of a family who cares: the dad who sends letters, a mother who talks to her son regularly on the phone, sisters and brothers who sometimes resent but still love their sibling and friends who send wishes. Each Christmas is an occasion for a family confabulation as to whether the son will be welcome. One year, Will was invited, along with his sex trade worker girlfriend Tammy, to meet the family who were genuinely disappointed when he did not show up. By the next year, he was using again; as a result, his invitation was rescinded.
Barker draws on his own experience in quitting alcohol 27 years ago and his attendance at various support groups for his anecdotes and advice. He describes simple, daily experiences and thoughts developed through 12-step meetings or conversations with other seniors over coffee in Trail Bay Mall. The insights are clearly defined for the reader, particularly the realization that a family can neither cure nor control an addict. Barker looks to a higher power to help him and protect him against the emotional hostage-taking.
The Barkers stopped giving Will money when they realized that the cash ended up in a dealer's pockets, but they continued to give grocery vouchers and phone cards so he could stay in touch. Only twice does Will write back. One time, he tells them he is the only addict in the treatment centre whose parents still speak to their offspring. This book is essential for any parent grappling with a child's addiction because it describes how one family learns to protect themselves. Though Barker still hopes his son will recover, he leaves the reader with only one ray of light. He explains that he now knows the difference between hope and expectation. "Expectation leads to disappointment and anger. Hope, however, is in God's hands."
Last Chance is available at Coast bookstores or through a website www.lastchancethislife.com for $20 including shipping and handling.
