“The clients are our teachers, and what we know about grief is because of what the clients have taught us,” says Esmé Stokhuyzen.
After over a decade of dedicated service, Sunshine Coast Hospice volunteers Esmé and Rolf Stokhuyzen have moved away from the Coast to be closer to family. During their time with Hospice, they made a lasting impact on the Society and the community.
Prior to Esmé and Rolf’s arrival in 2009, the focus of the Society was primarily on supporting individuals at the end-of-life. Hospice had some bereavement care services, but that was not the primary focus of Hospice’s work at the time. It was Esmé who, in collaboration with volunteers Keith Brind, Sharon Halford, Caron Hawrychuk and Jean Rice, developed the bereavement support program on the Coast.
They began by using the manual from Penticton Hospice, adapting it in 2012 to meet local needs. The program focused more on clients sharing their personal stories and the life of their loved one who passed away. Each grief group has its own special moments like this one cherished by Esme: “There was a husband who lost his wife to MS. When we asked the group to introduce their loved one the following week, he showed up with two suitcases full of recipes, crafts and other cherished memories of her. He was introducing his wife to us, and he did it in such a beautiful way.”
Over the years, Esme and her fellow grief group facilitators helped well over a hundred clients come to terms with their grief, and she remembers the name of every one of the people they helped. During Esmé’s many years of service, her husband Rolf was also a steady presence at Hospice, both as a board member and as a client care volunteer. Rolf companioned many palliative clients at Totem Lodge and at Shorncliffe and shared this memory:
“There was a fellow at Shorncliffe who I companioned, and we had really interesting discussions. Then one week, he had really declined in his health and could hardly speak or look at me. I talked to him, held his hand and just started humming a song. I saw him trying to open his mouth, and when he tried to make an effort to sing, a quiet crackle came from his mouth. It was a meaningful moment to share together.”
Esmé and Rolf will be deeply missed by all Hospice staff, clients and volunteers, particularly the grief group facilitators who became dear friends. Before moving off-Coast, Esme ensured there were others in the organization willing and capable to carry on the work. Hospice is on a solid foundation due in large part to the compassionate work of people like Esmé and Rolf, and many dedicated volunteers.
For more information about Hospice’s bereavement services, please contact Elana Robinson, executive director, at 604-740-0475.
– Submitted
