Johnny was the love of my life, my rock. He was full of light that shone through his beautiful smiling eyes. He made me laugh and he laughed with me. Just his presence made me feel safe and the feeling when he wrapped his arms around me is indescribable, like everything was and will always be just fine.
He shared so much of himself with his community. He would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it and expected nothing in return. He had the time to listen to you if you had something to say, and he would share his knowledge if you needed advice.
My son and I received all of that and we also had the gift of sharing Johnny’s quiet life: his pajamas-and-slippers-and-tea-on-the-deck life; our making plans for the future life; our family dinner time – always with so much laughter and silliness. I miss him so much I feel like I’m shattering inside, and the hole from his absence I will feel forever.
Johnny was a “good man” – it sounds cliché but has never been more true. He was hard-working, honest, had integrity, was generous and kind … always, to everyone. He never boasted or needed to be noticed for always doing the next right thing. He did it because it was his nature – it was simply who he was. My Johnny was a good, good man. He loved us – me, his kids Miro, Alana, and Chris, his sisters and brothers, and their families. He believed so strongly in family. He believed in us.
He also believed in not holding grudges. He believed in giving second chances, and third and fourth … He believed in keeping things simple and straightforward. He believed in keeping things light and when things got heavy he was a pro at poking fun and teasing.
In our eight years together, we’ve built a home, we’ve raised my son, grown a garden, we’ve read hundreds of books, travelled and road-tripped, gotten engaged. We’ve been grumpy, we’ve cried, we’ve forgiven, and we’ve been there for each other.
I know that love doesn’t die, especially the kind of love that John carried in his soul. John is still with me, with all of us. He is working secretly inside my heart, and I will have that forever too.
