Over the last few weeks I’ve had an opportunity to learn firsthand what life is like for someone who spends most of his day in a wheelchair. And it’s not pretty.
The day prior to Good Friday my husband had a bad fall off a three-step kitchen ladder. Consequently his Easter weekend consisted of a three-hour trip to the operating room and a four-day stay in the hospital. A huge learning experience for a fiercely independent person – suddenly even a trip to the washroom was fraught with peril. Gradually he’s got efficient at balancing on one foot to get in and out of the shower, in and out of the van and in and out of most restaurant booths.
But what amazes me is the way people around him react. Some are tuned into the challenges he faces. They race to open doors, chat him up about his injury and in general go out of their way to make him comfortable. They’re the good guys.
Some folks resent having to wait for him to manoeuvre through doors that are just big enough to accommodate the chair. They grimace when they think no one is watching, tap their toes impatiently and in general act like Wayne hurt himself just to inconvenience them. They’re the bad guys.
But there’s one more category that bothers me even more than those louts – the indifferent guys. They are people who are so busy gawking at their electronic devices they don’t even notice the man in the wheelchair until they’re almost falling over him. They are the retail clerks who haven’t been taught that all customers are important whether they can physically get the clerks’ attention or not. Wayne waited several minutes in a store the other day for someone to come and help him. He couldn’t reach the item he wanted and to stand without three ways to ground himself would have been courting disaster. (The surgeon told Wayne it was one of the worst repair jobs he’s ever had to do and to make sure there was no repeat visit to the OR or else.) At any rate the one thing my husband is learning is patience. I give him full marks for not leaving in disgust that day.
Perhaps the most startling example of indifference happened in the coffee shop at the hospital. Why would someone hand a scalding hot cup of coffee to a person who needs two hands to wheel themselves? I was parking the van. When I heard about that experience I was ready to explode.
If nothing else, Wayne’s accident has increased my awareness of the challenges handicapped people deal with every day in our society. I hope to never ever be one of the indifferent guys again. If you think you can help someone with a mobility issue, do so. And if you’re not sure, just ask. Please be a good guy.
