On Wednesday, Feb. 25 we took a stand against bullying. We wore pink shirts. We were publicly kind to one another. We said out loud that we were against bullying in all forms. We shared anti-bullying messages on our social media networks.
Then Thursday came, and we were back to judging people by what they wore. We became too busy to be kind and we jammed up our social media feeds with complaints and nonsense once again.
What happened? We were all on the same page Wednesday, and by dawn the next day we were all reading from different novels. I’d say the problem is focusing on a day to do what’s really a lifelong work.
Bullying, you see, isn’t something that can be eradicated in one day. It’s going to take a total shift in how we approach the problem and a lot of daily effort, because I believe we can only end bullying by learning how to put others first. That may sound easy, but those of us who have tried to live the saying know it’s not.
There’s something about us humans that wants to put ourselves first, that wants to make ourselves important, even at the expense of others. Some of us actually put others down daily, just to feel better about ourselves.
Our kids see it in us. They notice when we make an unflattering comment about someone’s outfit or when we refer to someone who confronted us as an “idiot” or some other expressive term.
We’re basically making those people smaller and ourselves grander, and we’re inadvertently teaching our kids how to do the same.
So when a child comes to school in mismatched clothing because they’re having all kinds of issues at home and there was no clean clothing to choose from, the child who heard their parent judge by appearances will likely do the same. What do you suppose that judgment will do to the poor child who already feels unimportant and unloved?
We must learn to see others as important, even as more important than ourselves, if we’re ever going to stop hurting them.
Bullying is defined as treating someone in a cruel or intimidating manner, and no one who’s putting others ahead of themselves is going to act that way.
I guess it all comes down to the golden rule of treating others the way you want to be treated, and that’s a rule that needs to be learned at home.
I think it’s great that our schools have programs and rules in place that deter bullying, but ultimately it’s not the school system that shapes our children and teaches them how to act — it’s us parents — and sometimes we’re the problem.
Have we taught our kids how to put others first? Have we taught them to look past appearances and get to know the heart of a person? Have we modeled a respect for differences and a genuine caring for others? If not, it’s not too late for an adjustment of attitude.
All it takes is a small shift by many people to change the world.
