With the turn of the new year, my mind is brought to my elders and how much they have shaped and guided my life. Years come and they go, and increasingly I am made aware of the beauty of old age – and the vulnerabilities.
Our elders give us wisdom and the strength of experience. But, as the fabric of their physical and mental weave begins to fray – the frail hand on the teacup, a forgotten name – we are obligated to understand what we can do to acknowledge the grace that years bring and to make the remaining days the best we can.
Mental wellness is the sum of many things. Some of these factors bear on the lives of our seniors more acutely – and with greater affect – than they do on younger folks.
Three things are important to remember. First, we must all, regardless of age, attend every bit as much to our mental health as to our physical well being. Second, there is a key difference between mental illness and mental health. And third, there is much we as family and friends can do to alleviate the circumstances that lead some older folks to experience a decline in their mental health, and that recourse to professional help is far from inevitable.
So, what should we look for if we are worried about an older family member or friend? There are two areas, really. One is a symptom (or symptoms) that all is not right; and second are causes.
Isolation and loneliness do nobody any good, but in older folks these can lead to feelings of social rejection, worthlessness, and a loss of dignity. In a culture like ours, which worships youth over wisdom, vitality over experience, perhaps this should not be a surprise.
But we can help with this with gestures of friendship and inclusion. Regular visits or little field trips can do wonders.
Age also brings more complex events that can cause negative mood changes. With retirement often comes a loss of purpose, and a significant drop in income very often attends the end of the working years.
One does not need to spray money around to help with this. With a little imagination, we can bring affordable comforts into our elders’ lives. A hamper with tasty food treats, a magazine subscription, one or two articles of nice clothing. These are do-able and have the twin benefits of enriching the supply of creature comforts and conveying the idea that older lives matter.
Among my own circle of older friends and family, I have witnessed perhaps the most unfortunate side effects of advancing age: bereavement. This may be where we might consider professional advice. If the loss of friends or family is an issue, get hold of the Sunshine Coast Hospice Society. It does great work.
In this same area, there are many services and resources on the Coast that cater to seniors. Many of these are groups that meet regularly for fellowship and appropriate activities. They can be very effective in restoring feelings of inclusion, a sense of self-worth, and the alleviation of loneliness.
There is much we can do. A little imagination goes a long way.
