Grief. It ruins you if you don’t deal with it, and it doesn’t go away until you do deal with is, said Hugh Macaulay, a man who has participated in a grief group.
“Coming to Hospice’s grief group was so enormously good for me,” he said. “I can’t talk to a lot of guys about my grief, and in the past I’ve dealt with grief mainly in a solitary way.”
He acknowledged that women are more emotional and open while men are more closed, but in these groups, “We all get together and we’re all the same. We have souls. We have hearts.” Grief is a great equalizer.
“The beauty of Hospice is that it created a community of people who know each other intimately,” Macaulay said. “We went through our experiences individually, and they are all different, but we sat down together and then we shared so much that was important and meaningful… We came to hold each other’s hearts tenderly.”
His advice to other men: “Don’t be too proud to take off your big old man jacket and just sit down and talk – and cry if you have to – but deal with your grief. You don’t have to tell anybody that you’re going to a grief group, but go, give it a try. It’s worth it.”
Hospice is a safe space, “the safest space,” he said, “a confidential and generous space. There are people who care at Hospice. You don’t have to sit there and suffer and grieve alone.”
The Sunshine Coast Hospice Society’s last grief groups before the summer break will run from May 2 to June 20 in the evening, and an afternoon group will be added if there is enough interest. These groups are free, thanks to donations from folks in the community, but registration is required as space is limited.
For more information, or to participate in a grief group, call 604-740-0475 or visit www.coasthospice.com
– Submitted by Bernadette Richards, Manager of Hospice Services
