Saturday May 25, 2013



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Bullying: we all have to own the problem

Editor:

I am deeply saddened by the death of Amanda Todd. I am also saddened that the media can’t leave it alone.

Nobody seems ready to mention that we live in a violent society. In a society based on a Judeo-Christian ethic that says “an eye for an eye” getting even is perhaps why we spend so much time placing blame.

Bullying is an abuse of power and we all are capable of doing it. When we study bullies and bullying we never seem to ask the question: who taught these kids to be bullies? Bosses bully employees and parents bully children. You need only to say the word Omnibus Bill to know that politicians bully the public. Yet, we want the schools to fix it.

After more than 30 years of observing and counselling children in elementary schools, I have concluded that the most important lesson a child learns in school is how to handle people in their lives who have more power than they do. That lesson is learned well or poorly. As adults we will continue to handle those who have the power in the same ways we learned in elementary school. So, many of us will be used and abused because we have never found an effective way to deal with bullies.

I have watched many children do all the things the system tells them to do — tell the teacher, tell their parents, etc. — and none of it works. I have implemented many different programs to help students deal with bullies but with limited success.

Until we all own the problem and make some efforts to clean up our own act, nothing is going to change.

Ron Breadner, Halfmoon Bay


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